Firstly, let’s not overlook the fact that acknowledging that you’re playing small is not easy. You may not have noticed that this pattern had been running on automatic, or you may not have wanted to admit it to yourself– or do something about it. Asking “Why?” must become a part of our repertoire of strategies whenever we want to evolve to the next version of ourselves.
So, answer this question honestly: “Why are you playing small?”
Do you think you’re going to be more likable? Accepted? … If you like your reasons for playing small, by all means, keep playing small. If it is the way you are and that is how you are happy, then this article is not for you.
But, if the reason you’re playing small is because you think people will either accept you, like you better or include you, sis, stop it. That acceptance and validation you’re seeking from others you can very much give to yourself, and EVERYONE will be better for it.
It does not serve you or the world to play small.
Here are my three little but mighty upgrades I would love for you to try:
We’ve been misled, my friends. We were told that to go for what we want we need to be confident. That it is the foundation of our success, and without it success will elude us. But, if confidence comes first, how would you go for what you want if you lack confidence?
The answer is you don’t wait to be confident to, then, go for what you want. You don’t have to lose weight, speak with perfect clarity and precision, you don’t have to think you’re beautiful, you don’t have to look your best, you don’t have to have the perfect morning routine, or drink a gallon of water a day. All those things help, of course. But, to be confident you only need a moment of courage to decide that you will go for what you want and then… press ‘send’: Ask the question, apply for the job, wear the dress.
Confidence is nothing more than a moment in time: If you’ve identified yourself as someone who doesn’t have a lot of confidence you may be closing the door on yourself when opportunity knocks. If, on the other hand, you understand that you don’t need to be confident, you only need to make one decision. Suddenly, the task or issue you’re dealing with is reduced to a moment of your life – not an identity change.
Practice taking action and you will have confidence. It will come as the result of your actions not the cause. The more action you take and more results you will obtain. As you gather evidence of your abilities your confidence will soar.
Setting high standards will force you to know yourself well. You must know and understand what you value, what you stand for and what your priorities are. Spend time exploring these concepts. Once you’ve gained clarity you may find yourself being more intentional with your decision making and being more selective with the kind of people and things you decide to give your energy to.
Setting high standards gives you a clear direction of where your life is headed. Start with creating your non-negotiables in the different areas where you’d like to see a shift and start small. Once you start shedding old habits and creating new ones you will find yourself achieving goals and staying focused and motivated to go for more. You will start to elevate other aspects of your life.
This is the most important of the three concepts. Deciding to do the work to elevate your self-concept can be a life changer because your success will depend on how you see yourself.
How you view yourself affects your actions, the way you show up in life. Think of your self-concept as your ceiling. You will create a life that reflects how you think about yourself. If you think you can have a better job, better style, better living conditions, you name it, you will go for it. On the other hand, if you don’t see yourself as a person that can be more, do more, have more, you will stay in the comfort of what you’ve always known– doing things the same way you’ve always done them.
To work on your self-concept take an inventory of your opinion of yourself by answering these 3 questions:
Take the time to answer these questions thoroughly. You may be surprised about what happens when you take a peek at what you’re thinking and the story you’ve been telling yourself.
“Practice is the most important discovery in the history of human achievement.” – Steve Chandler
Practice these concepts intentionally and consistently. This is a moment-by-moment decision. When you’re aware that you went back to your default, ask yourself: Who do I want to be right now? Everything you can be you already are. You only need to give yourself permission to believe it. You are capable, powerful and creative. It’s time to impress yourself.
Who are you, really? 12 prompts to help you create self awareness, gain clarity, take action.
Go on,
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